Kathleen Smith: inspiration

So you want to be an artist, but you are afraid, right?

You are afraid because why you? Because what will it mean about you, or worse, the people around you? Because what will you have to do to get there?? Because what if you have to leave behind everything you know to get there???

((And, of course, the answer is that yes, you WILL have to leave everything you know to get there.  But it’s different than you think.))

Yes, honey, if you mean leaving behind your victim mentality and your fear and your blocks; and if you mean leaving behind all of the OLD ways you did things, which, quite frankly, obviously did not work; and if you mean leaving behind the constant mean scream of your self doubt, which, by the way, you bought into BECAUSE you didn’t do your work and BECAUSE you didn’t show up on time every day and give your time (even though sometimes it felt like doing time) and BECAUSE you screwed up and created drama and generally behaved like a crazy person, and so your self doubt and the doubt of those close to you seemed valid; if you mean leaving behind all that, then yes, you WILL have to leave everything you know behind you.

This is because you will take yourself seriously enough—no, you will take the MUSE and the calling and the work seriously enough that you WILL show up on time, and you WILL show up every day, and you WILL prostrate yourself to the gods of your art because you know you have to.  Because you know that it is your calling and your duty, not only to yourself, but also to the world.  You know that this calling, this dream, from your heart is actually part of a deeper call and dream from the heart of the world.

And so you will no longer shirk the responsibility of your dreams because you know that you are a mere messenger.  You are a messenger for and of the creation that gave you the gifts and the dream in the first place. You are a messenger for the message that comes from beyond.  You are a messenger of god.  But you must actively choose to carry that message, or you die.  You may still be alive, but you will not really be living, because you will be veiled over by fear and resistance and ego.  And that, that is a death in and of itself (truly a fate worse than death).

So, yes, you will have to take everything you’ve got, everything you know, everything you think you know, and you will have to leave it behind you.  Or better yet, just throw it out the window.  And then, every day, you will have to shut up and suit up and show up for the work that is waiting to be done, the work that is waiting for YOU to do it. Because ONLY you can do it.

Now go do your work. It is waiting.

2009 / kathleen smith

(check out this book if you want more stuff like the above)